Wednesday, May 28, 2008

a hint of things to come?


I guess I've learned over the years to attempt not to worry about things that haven't happened yet. Isn't it said that 98% of what we worry about will never come to pass? So, I figured one day at a time with any issues that would arise in conjunction with our daughter's adoption from China and the stupid things people might say in front of her. She is a very perceptive and inquisitive little girl and even at 3, doesn't miss much.

So, getting to the point here, our upstairs heat pump wasn't working and had to contact the repair man. He quickly diagnosed the problem, fixed it, and was standing in the foyer telling me what the problem was. Elizabeth was coloring at our dining room table right beside us as the repair man proceeded to tell me the relay switch had to be replaced. He then added, "all those parts are made in China and you know what kind of cr*p comes out of China."

Immediately, I looked over and E'beth had taken in every word. I walked over to her, scooped her up, carried her over to the repair man and politely said "Well, this is one of the most precious things I own, she was made in China, and they don't make them any better than this!" (all the while smothering her with kisses).

I know it was an innocent slip for him, and I'm not upset with him. Life is short, and I believe if I dwell on things like that and let it fester, it will make things much worse for E'beth to deal with. On the flip, if I can let it roll off my back then perhaps she will learn by example. If anything it's made me very aware of what might be down the road as far as comments go. It's my prayer that we can give both our children the self esteem, and worth that God created EACH of them in a unique and beautiful way. It sure would be a very boring world if we were all identical.

13 comments:

Denise said...

You handled that with such grace! And I am sure that your little girl will do the same when she is faced with similar situations...because you know she will.

Janelle said...

oh dear. people can be so insensitive and the girls are old enough to understand and retain EVERYTHING.

sorry this had to happen. sad to say, it probably won't the be last time, either.

kris said...

Wow- you are amazing. I swear I've got to start taking notes from all the been there done that moms. I might have sat there speechless.

kris said...

Wow- you are amazing. I swear I've got to start taking notes from all the been there done that moms. I might have sat there speechless.

bamboosprouts said...

ugh. The ones that bother me most are the questions about whether or not they are "real" siblings. Just drives me crazy because of course it is always right in front of them and you could not in a million years convince Sophie that Bella and Levi are not her "real" brother and sister. What a weird question anyhow. But even when we answer with a simple, yes, people often persist, putting more and more emphasis on REAL. Good grief people can be lame. Besides, you just dont hear many people asking about step-parent and step sibling relationships but for some reason, they are comfy asking about that. Course Rick says he rarely gets any of that at all so I must just be looking too friendly at the grocery store to make people think I want to chat about my personal life with them. LOL I am being silly and really I am very open to chatting about adoption and our kids but that one just irritates me so much.

I think you handled that one well though. Reminds me that there is a book about all the wonderful things (as opposed to "crap"!) that were first made in China, have you seen it? Kinda fun tidbits. :) My kids are at this moment pretending they are going to China. LOL

Anyhow, have a good one. :)

Angie said...

Breaks my heart...but I am proud of you for holding yourself together and responding with such a positive calmness. I know that won't be the only lame comment Ebeth hears, but I pray that she will have the strength and grace to let it roll and realize that people can say dumb things, but that her worth comes from Jesus - the ONLY worth that matters!

Erin said...

I should not even comment, as this
kind of thing just makes me so upset! People say such insensitive things in front of these little children! My teenagers are pretty adept at answering now, and have sometimes cracked me up with their responses, but I have noticed that none of their friends or any other teenagers or children seem to say things like this... they are so open to the world and to new possibilities--- it is really only adults who have said things---so maybe our daughters will grow up in a more tolerant and open world. I hope so. I like to think of myself as a very polite and kind person, but a few times I have actually felt like hissing at people. It brings out the worst side of me.

Kim said...

Oh---you handled that very well!!! I know people say things without any evil intentions, just not thinking. But, still words can be hurtful...you obviously made up for it in her little heart! Great job!!!!

Shelley said...

Way to go Susan!! David and I have talked about this type of scenario so many times and the best we can come up with is like you said about teaching them their worth in God's eyes as I would with any of my children...home grown or not. The other thing is that they see how we respond and although I don't want my girls to be calloused, I do want them to have thick enough skin to be able to let stuff like this roll off their back and not let it be that which defines them.
I think you handled it wonderfully my dear!! Good for you!!
Oh...I have to tell you what Aly said last night. We were snuggled up in my bed nose to nose as we were each twirling the others hair in our fingers. I was looking into her beautiful eyes and I said, "Wow...your eyes are beautiful baby girl. I'm so jealous...I wish I had your stunning brown almond eyes" She pulled away from me and said, "Mom...God made us all different. My eyes are almond shaped because he needed them to be almond shaped. God didn't need yours to be almond shaped...they are just like He needed them to be...and they are beautiful"
How old is this kid?????? She slays me to my very core!!!!
love ya
Shelley

Paula said...

Great Job! quick comeback.
It was perfect.

Sheila said...

Love your response! Elizabeth is such an awesome little girl.

I recently heard a great comeback for the question "Why didn't you adopt in America?"

Answer: Do you know how hard it is to find Chinese children to adopt in America!!!

I love it!

Sheila

Anonymous said...

Love your response! Elizabeth is such an awesome little girl.

I recently heard a great comeback for the question "Why didn't you adopt in America?"

Answer: Do you know how hard it is to find Chinese children to adopt in America!!!

I love it!

Sheila

Susan Stevenson said...

I'm reading you a bit slow...

I love the way you handled this situation. You turned a negative comment into a positive experience for your daughter.